Dreaming with the wind

Title: Lost Northern Star
Fandom: Supernatural
Characters/Pairing: Castiel/Balthazar, Dean
Rating: PG
Spoiler: 6x22
Warning: unbeta’d
Disclaimer: I wish they were mine so I could keep them safe, but they are not.
Word count: ca. 1500
Summary: Balthazar refuses to give up on Castiel.

A/N: I just love the thought of Balthazar being the one to get through to Castiel, and writing about the different ways it could happen it is very therapeutic.
Title stolen from Tarja Turunen.


( Dean can feel blood running down the side of his face. )

I think some people may be getting a wrong impression regarding my feelings towards Supernatural at the moment. I think some people may be getting a wrong impression regarding the entire Castiel (and Cas/Dean) part of the fandom, but I can only speak for myself, and I want to make a few things clear here:

Most importantly: I love this show.
I may be ranting and worrying and complaining a lot lately. I wouldn't do that if I didn't care.

Equally important: I still love Sam and Dean. Maybe not as much as I love Cas and Balthazar and Gabriel and (hate-love) Crowley, but of course I love them. I don't think it's possible to watch this show if you don't.
I also firmly believe that this show, in its core, has always been, will always be, and should always be about these two brothers. They are the heart and soul of Supernatural, and I don't think anyone could possibly doubt that.
BUT it can't be only about them. ( lengthy post about my feelings about this show, the characters, and what it is that I'm complaining about )

And here is another very important reason why - despite everything - I won't leave anytime soon: I love this fandom and I love the cast (and, most of the time, the crew)

This fandom, with all its wank and fighting, still is a big family. An most of the people I know support each other, and respect each other's opinion. There are quite a few black sheep, and that can hurt, but at the end of the day, most of you - and certainly everyone on my flist - are the most insane-in-a-good-way, creative, passionate, kind, unique bunch of people I've ever met. And even if the show should go downhill completely, I wouldn't leave because I don't want to leave YOU.

And this crazy, big family includes a lot of the actors, and quite a few of the writers, directors and other people working on the show. I don't think there is any other fandom where the actors are that involved and care that much. Be it Twitter, or cons, or insiders they send our way in interviews. They are just as completely insane as we are, and they never fail to brighten up my day.

I feel like I have found my home. Maybe we will move on one day, maybe we will go our separate ways at some point, maybe we will meet again in a different fandom. But for now, you are my family and this show is my home.
And this is exactly why I still love this show with all my heart. And this is equally why I worry and complain so much when I feel that things go terribly wrong. Because I care.
See a theme here?

ETA: Spoilers in the comments. You've been warned

Title: To Be Loved
Fandom Supernatural
Characters/Pairings: Castiel/Balthazar
Rating: PG
Spoiler: up to 6x22
Warning: unbeta’d
Disclaimer: Not mine. If they were, there would be hugs.
Word count: ~1000
Summary: "I could never turn on you. I would never leave you." Fix-it coda for 6x22
A/N: I’m not much of a writer, but this needed fixing, so I found a way to fix it.

( Castiel feels the power surge through him... )

Okay, I'm somewhat calm now. Still devastated, and angry, and so not okay with this, but calm. And I have decided that I am going to have this whole mess make sense somehow, if it kills me - and it just might, as I'll have to rewatch (parts of) the episodes for this.

So this is going to be less of a review, and more of a first attempt on my personal head canon, where I just might end up ignoring and re-interpreting scenes left and right if I have to. I'm also stealing from ideas I read on LJ and tumblr. So I can't take credit for everything, I'm just putting stuff together, and hope that it'll somehow hold.

( spoiler for Supernatural 6x21 and 6x22, and a lot of things that don't make sense. Yet. )

Hey everyone,

I'm in desperate need of someone to create a banner for the Balthazar Fanwork Exchange that I'm planning to host on spn_balthazar shortly after the season finale.
I offer you creative freedom - as long as the banner has Balthazar, preferably no other character, and the words "Balthazar Fanwork Exchange" - my eternal gratitude, credit of course, and possibly a small donation to your Hope To Haiti Crowdrise page.
The banner should be finished by the day the finale airs.

Anyone interested? Or do you maybe know someone who may be willing to help me out?

First of all: Thank you, raths_kitten for your Valentine vgift. My mystery gift turned out to be a squirrel. How very perfectly Random Act-y. :)

While I was spending the last few days on my sofa, because I was/am sick, there where three things that brightened up my days immensely: Tweets from a certain actor of French and Scottish heritage, episode stills from a certain episode, and my ever wonderful Rhino Team 4.

Last night, Sebastian Roché had this little, still unofficial, bit of news for us:



When I read it for the first time last night, I completely missed that it said UK convention, which means that it can only be Asylum 7. Guys, it looks like I'm going to meet Sebastian in October! Now, if they announce Misha as well, that weekend is going to be the very definition of my own personal heaven.

There are also some pictures floating around the net that most of you have probably seen by now, but which I just can't leave uncommented:

( As spoilery as episode stills combined with the overall episode theme happen to be )

Bottom line: I need to see this episode, like right now! This is going to be the most insane and epic hour of television we will ever witness. Who cares if we will all lose whatever is left of our sanity in the process.

As for the Rhino Hunt: I promise you'll get an update this weekend on how amazing Team 4 continues to be. It will possibly even include a video of our biggest master piece and proof of team spirit. *g*

In my opinion, Balthazar is pretty much the best thing coming out of Supernatural's season 6 so far. He doesn't get nearly as much screen time as I would wish but I still feel we already know quite a bit about him. So I put together a bit of a character analysis of our rogue angel.

( spoiler up to Supernatural 6x11 )

And just because it made me laugh:

sebroche: @mishacollins Hi Cass, happy holidays from Bathazar aka Baltie !!!

Is it just me, or does he sound like a fanboy?
Is Baltie the official nickname then? I've got used to Bal by now. I guess, I'll never agree with the official nicknames for my favourite angels, will I?

I'm back from Asylum 5 where Misha told us that Castiel is gay, lost his virginity to Balthazar and is apparantly Dean's wife. Furthermore, Misha overshares. And I hope he buys a new mattress.

Also: ( character spoiler )

Explanations, detailed reports of panels, meet&greet and coffee lounges as well as photos and even a video will follow soon. After I get some sleep.

For mow let me just tell you that this con was just amazing!