gwaevalarin | "Would You Mind If I Killed You..."

It seem that, while I can't ship Crowlandriel any longer - for obvious reasons - I can't really let it go either. So here, have some slightly dark head canon:

Crowley and Samandriel have been working with/against each other for a while, always in a more or less civil environment like the auction. Let's face it, Heaven and Hell need a few agreements to keep the truce while both sides try to find a way to outwit the other. In the end, this is the only thing that may win one of them the eternal war.

In a way, you could say that Samandriel was SPN!Crowley's Aziraphale, except their relationship is a lot darker, and they were never anything close to actual friends.

They challenged each other, and while they would never admit it, they enjoyed challenging each other (and being challenged). So over time, this undefinable thing developed between them, a glimpse of which we got during the auction. It was as far as you can get from romantic, and it wasn't exactly sexual either. It was a game of wit and power, that was too close to flirting to be called anything else.

Crowley would test how far he could go, how far he could push Samandriel, and Samandriel would encourage him but at the same time keep him at bay in this perfect dance that kept them both interested (and Crowley slightly frustrated). They would play their little private game whenever they met, and they would never talk about the rules.

I don't know if anything ever actually happened between them - at this point I kinda hope not - but if it did, then certainly no more than once ot twice, when they found themselves alone together in a dark hallway, and the tension was so high that they had to get rid of some of it. But most likely, Samandriel only gave Crowley an unreadable little smile and slipped away.

It was never a particularly healthy relationship, but they were both very aware of that, and no one ever let the other get the upper hand. They faced each other as equals, and that's why it worked for so long.

But you can't play this game without taking a risk and letting your guard down once in a while if you want to keep the thrill alive.

This is how Samandriel ended up in Crowley's torture chamber, being reminded what force he had been messing with all this time, and suddenly the game wasn't a game anymore. It was one of those times that prove that the main reason Crowley is so dangerous is that he can make you forget what he is capable of, no matter how careful you are to constantly remind yourself.

Crowley is very aware of that, so he made sure he didn't give Samandriel any time to adjust to the big change in their relationship but used this first moment of Samandriel feeling irrationally confused and betrayed to his advantage. That Crowley does have this dark, twisted thing for his angel, that makes seeing Samandriel scream such a personal, highly enjoyable experience for him, doesn't help either.

Once Crowley stopped torturing Samandriel, it took our angel just a little while to work through it all, and remind himself that Crowley never really was anything but his enemy. His damaged wings will make sure he doesn't forget again for a long time.

Next time they meet as equals, Samandriel won't allow himself any emotions of any kind, but if the mission is to find a way to kill Crowley, he will gladly do so.

And Crowley? He'll do anything to ensure his position and survival like he's always done. No regrets. But on some level - he will never admit this - he will miss Samandriel and the thrill of their old relationship.