Cas? Don't ever change.
Oct. 6th, 2009 10:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwaevalarinInitially I was planning to write about two themes of last episode: About the brothers keeping each other human which is so perfectly true and I'm glad that Dean learnt that lesson because I believe it was the real lesson to learn. And about what changed Castiel in those five years. Unfotunately I don't have the time to really go into both right now and since I've seen a lot of entries about the boys' reunion that sum it up better than I ever could I decided to concentrate on Cas:
When Dean lands in 2014 and finds Castiel there, all love guru and stoned it's pretty funny yet slightly disturbing at first glance. But honestly: It breaks my heart to see our beloved angel like that. What happened to him that changed him that much in five years? He lost his purpose.
The way he starts laughing when Dean tells him to strap on his angel wings there's not a hint of humour in that. It's a bitter laugh. He is bitter. Life didn't happen to him the way it should have. Not all free will and finally doing what he really believes in. It happened to him dark and messy and without anything left to belive in. Something Castiel wasn't able to bear.
When he says that he likes past Dean there's a hint of: Look how idealistic you used to be, Dean. How idealistic we used to be when we believed there was still a purpose to anything.
It becomes perfectly clear when present Dean and future Castiel talk in the car. In the present, Castiel is cut off from heaven and that's difficult for him. Free will. No orders to follow any more. But he still has most of his angel powers, he has a goal in looking for god. There is some sense and hope to it all. But in 2014: Obviously there are some fragments of his angel power left since he instantly notices that Dean is from another year but they're practically gone. He obviously hasn't found god, his fellow angels have gone for good and just left him behind. He is powerless which makes him feel useless when he's simply (practically) human. Mortal. He has now fully realised what he gave up when he fell. And that must scare the hell out of him. And he can't bear it. So he turns to what he himself calls decadence. Women, drugs. Not because he really likes it but because it numbs the pain. Cas is broken beyond recovery. He just stopped caring.
But in all his sarcasm he's still willing to follow Dean. He's still by his side. That hasn't changed. Because where else would Castiel be with no one left? And there still seems to be some kind of friendship between them. They still know and trust each other. That's at least something. Even though Dean is willing to sacrifice him. And I think Castiel probably knows that. He's not stupid. He can see that it's a trap just like Dean sees it. But he just accepts it. Maybe he's even grateful for it because this way at least his death might make a difference. But sadly I think it's more likely that he simply doesn't care.
And then we go back to 2009 where Castiel is still standing on the side of a road waiting. All serious and confused by human nature and his new found free will. But very slowly learning to deal with that and maybe even to enjoy doing what he truely believes is the right thing to do instead of just doing what he's told to do. There's even a hint of a smile on his face after he's saved Dean from Zachariah. He still has to learn a lot about following his own path. But he also knows that he has a lot to offer as an angel. There's a (human) part of the world he might never fully understand but there also is a lot that he knows that no human will ever understand. I think Cas still has to find a balance here to really adapt to the new situation of being a fallen angel but Dean tells him the most important thing: "Don't ever change!" This is not about Castiel becoming human, this is about him being himself.
When Dean lands in 2014 and finds Castiel there, all love guru and stoned it's pretty funny yet slightly disturbing at first glance. But honestly: It breaks my heart to see our beloved angel like that. What happened to him that changed him that much in five years? He lost his purpose.
The way he starts laughing when Dean tells him to strap on his angel wings there's not a hint of humour in that. It's a bitter laugh. He is bitter. Life didn't happen to him the way it should have. Not all free will and finally doing what he really believes in. It happened to him dark and messy and without anything left to belive in. Something Castiel wasn't able to bear.
When he says that he likes past Dean there's a hint of: Look how idealistic you used to be, Dean. How idealistic we used to be when we believed there was still a purpose to anything.
It becomes perfectly clear when present Dean and future Castiel talk in the car. In the present, Castiel is cut off from heaven and that's difficult for him. Free will. No orders to follow any more. But he still has most of his angel powers, he has a goal in looking for god. There is some sense and hope to it all. But in 2014: Obviously there are some fragments of his angel power left since he instantly notices that Dean is from another year but they're practically gone. He obviously hasn't found god, his fellow angels have gone for good and just left him behind. He is powerless which makes him feel useless when he's simply (practically) human. Mortal. He has now fully realised what he gave up when he fell. And that must scare the hell out of him. And he can't bear it. So he turns to what he himself calls decadence. Women, drugs. Not because he really likes it but because it numbs the pain. Cas is broken beyond recovery. He just stopped caring.
But in all his sarcasm he's still willing to follow Dean. He's still by his side. That hasn't changed. Because where else would Castiel be with no one left? And there still seems to be some kind of friendship between them. They still know and trust each other. That's at least something. Even though Dean is willing to sacrifice him. And I think Castiel probably knows that. He's not stupid. He can see that it's a trap just like Dean sees it. But he just accepts it. Maybe he's even grateful for it because this way at least his death might make a difference. But sadly I think it's more likely that he simply doesn't care.
And then we go back to 2009 where Castiel is still standing on the side of a road waiting. All serious and confused by human nature and his new found free will. But very slowly learning to deal with that and maybe even to enjoy doing what he truely believes is the right thing to do instead of just doing what he's told to do. There's even a hint of a smile on his face after he's saved Dean from Zachariah. He still has to learn a lot about following his own path. But he also knows that he has a lot to offer as an angel. There's a (human) part of the world he might never fully understand but there also is a lot that he knows that no human will ever understand. I think Cas still has to find a balance here to really adapt to the new situation of being a fallen angel but Dean tells him the most important thing: "Don't ever change!" This is not about Castiel becoming human, this is about him being himself.
