"This is not for you"

[gwaevalarin]

I just finished "House of Leaves". I don't know if "I liked it" is the right term but it certainly left an impression and I'm sure I'll read it again sometime. I want to know if knowing the whole story will change my perspective and I'm sure there's still so much I have missed.

It was completely different from what I had expected. It was more like an analysis of The Navidson Record than a novel. But I got used to that very quickly though once in a while, when it was all about stuff like what kind of camera Navidson used, I didn't understand a word.
What I really loved was that what was haunting everyone in this book was something that wasn't there. The absence of light reaching out for you. That can be so much scarier than any creature you can picture.

"House of Leaves" has way too many facets to even explain what it is about - just like Poe's album - so just some scenes that especially stood out to me:

• I just have to quote this one:
  "To get a better idea try this: focus on these words, and whatever you do don't let your eyes wander past the perimeter of this page. Now imagine just beyond your peripheral vision, maybe behind you, maybe to the side of you, maybe even in front of you, but right where you can't see it, something is quietly closing in on you, so quietly in fact you can only hear it as silence. Find those pockets without sound. That's where it is. Right at this moment. But don't look. Keep your eyes here. Now take a deep breath. Go ahead take an even deeper one. Only this time as you start to exhale try to imagine how fast it will happen, how hard it's gonna hit you, how many times it will stab you jugular with its teeth or are they nails?, don't worry, that particular detail doesn't matter, because before you have time to even process that you should be moving, you should be running, you should at the very least be flinging up your arms - you sure as hell should be getting rid of this book - you won't have time to even scream.
  Don't look.
  I didn't.
  Of course I looked.
  [...]"


• The end of chapter IV. After Wax had been shot by Holloway. That guy scared me and honestly I was glad when he was gone. Jed and Wax hiding in this tiny room, while the Growl is closing in. And the typo I'm not sure is one.


• Delial


• Tom's death. It almost made me cry and books hardly ever have that effect on me. Just a few pages earlier he had this great brotherly moment with Navy:
  "At least when you're drunk you've always got the floor for your best friend. Know why?"
  "It's always there for you."
  "That's right. Just like you."
  And then? Then he manages to save Daisy, finds the strength for that, before he knows he has lost. Before the house crushes him and he falls into oblivion right before Navy's eyes.
  Tom... *sobs*


• The end of chapter XVIII that just stops midsentence. And you have to read your way through three more chapters that have pretty much nothing to do with this one until you find out what was on the tape knowing that the darkness is luring behind Karen, waiting for her.


• Johnny's diary. I have no idea what it is about. Well, I know it's about his search for the house on Ash Tree Lane but what of it is real, what is just his imagination? Why can't he remember what he wrote? What about this band who read House of Leaves and even wrote songs about it (Poe?) and why doesn't it bother him the least that he can write about them in the very book they talk about with him? And Kyrie? Did he rape her? Did he kill her? Cause that is really hard to believe. On the other hand: Is it? Considering the condition he is in? I really have to reread that chapter.


• The story at the end of this chapter, about the dying child and his mother who wouldn't leave his side until everyone believes that a miracle will happen and he will survive. But then... "You can go now."
  Heartbreaking.


• The ending. Karen stepping into the darkness just like that. The way out. In the end it is a love story, but a hidden one.


• Last but not least: The letters Johnny got from his mother. They are so full of love but at the same time scary. And you never know which part is true. What was just her mind and her memory playing tricks on her (the encryptred letter, the old and the new director)? What did she forget? Maybe mother and son suffered from the same mental illness.
  And so she did try to strangle him. Did she?

I can't really tell you that you have to read this book. But I can tell you that it definately was the most unusual and - I'm searching for a word here - haunting? Sometimes disturbing? absorbing? fascinating? book I have ever read. One you don't just put aside and forget.

Edit: The Wikipedia article about House of Leaves is actually quite good.