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gwaevalarin) wrote2011-09-24 08:58 am
gwaevalarin) wrote2011-09-24 08:58 am
All the Awards!
First of all: Can we get Misha an award already? Emmy? Oscar? Every award ever?
I knew he was good, but this... I mean... I'm completely lost for words. I officially declare Misha Collins the best actor to ever have graced my screen. Just wow!
Second of all: I expected a lot of things when going into this episode. I did not expect this.
I did not end up a sobbing mess, even though there were quite a few gasps and tears, not gonna lie. I did not end up raging and screaming and throwing things at my screen.
Quite the contrary. This episode was pretty much perfect. If the storyline as a whole works, will have to be seen next week. But for now, Show and I are good again.
I feel infinitely better about things now. And at the same time infinitely worse and more worried. But in the right way. I think.
A few more thought before I go and read everyone else's reaction - and possibly write a proper review later this weekend:
"Special Guest Star: Misha Collins" stung. Badly. So badly that it brought tears to my eyes. It was probably worse than had he just been "Guest Star". Because in my experience a "Special Guest Star" is someone who used to be on a show, but is gone for good, and just returning for an episode or two. I still hold some hope it won't be in this case, but barely.
Yes, the smiting was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. But Castiel was new to these powers, and the new position he honestly thought was his, so I can forgive him. But that aside, he was still Castiel. Trying to do the right thing, even if he didn't always succeed. He went for the best possible strategies, by keeping hell, and the cage, and Crowley - the devil he knows - as king of hell. And he seemed to be slightly losing the arrogant god-ness as time went on, and start looking at it as a job instead. He also still did want to be loved. As wrathful as he was in other scenes, there was true and honest kindness when he healed the blind man. He was grateful even.
And more importantly, the "I an indifferent to sexual orientation" wasn't just fanservice. Castiel did care about people's true intentions. And even if he never really was God, if I compare him to how the Christan god often comes across for me (as a non Christian) he was better than his father when he was still around.
I think what I'm trying to say is: After the sneak peek, I was prepared to actually be scared of Cas in this episode. And I wasn't. He was lost and high on power, but he was still Cas. And to be honest? I would have bowed to him and meant it.
The angel wings in Heaven stung. One, because seeing burnt angel wings will always hurt, and two, because nameless followers of Raphael got them, and Balthazar didn't. No, I still can't get over that. I still hope that it will mean something in one way or another.
I'm sorry to say it, but I was so pissed with Dean all through the episode up to the point when Cas came to them for help. I get that he was hurt. And honestly, at first I thought that the reason he decided not to do anything about the situation was because he didn't know how to face Cas. Didn't think he could save him, coudn't bear the thought of killing him.
But then they actually went to Crowley for help. Granted, it wasn't a deal, exactly, but they still asked him for help, and trusted him when he gave them the spell to bind Death. And how even Dean cannot see that this is beyond hypocritical, I honestly don't know.
But even worse when Dean just decided that they had to kill Cas. Not one spare thought on how to get the souls out of him. Not even when Cas stood right before him. When he told Death to "just kill him already"... I'm not sure I'll be able to forgive Dean that for a long time.
Sam, on the other hand. Oh, Sammy! Let me hug you! He is busy trying to keep upright at all, and still he is the one who doesn't give up on Castiel. The one who goes outside, and prays to him in an attempt to help and save him. He was the one to say, that Cas is still somewhere in there, and indicating that he is still their friend that that they owe him to try to save him.
Bobby seemed surprisingly forgiving too.
And Death? Death is still a BAMF, and awesome. But I don't like his talk about that tingling sense that he will reap someone soon. I still hope the writers are only messing with us.
And then Castiel's struggle, when the Leviathans really started to take over. The moment they did in that campaign office you could sp clearly see that wasn't Cas at all any more (again, kudos to Misha). The shock in Castiel's eyes when he woke up broke my heart, and I just wanted to remind him that it wasn't him who had done that. And that it wasn't his fault. After all, he didn't know about the Leviathans before Death told him, did he?
This was, however, the moment he realised, that Death was right, that he wasn't God, and that he couldn't control what's inside him. And he did the only right thing to do. He answered Sam's call and asked for help. And that must have been painful and humiliating, but he still did it. Other than Dean, it seems Castiel learns from his past mistakes.
You know, thinking about it now, returning the soul to Purgatory was possibly a mistake. They didn't know that the Leviathans would be left behind, and the souls would probably have burned through Castiel's vessel in no time - I'm assuming that the burns were from the souls, since they disappeared the moment they were gone - so it wasn't a mistake they could have avoided. But without the soul, Castiel was too weak to fight the Leviathans any more.
Castiel all broken and "fully" himself again broke my heart. He never asked Dean to forgive him right there and then. He only asked for a chance to redeem himself. He promised to do whatever it takes to make things up the best he can, even though he isn't sure that Dean will ever really forgive him. And even though Dean's words claimed that it didn't make him feel better, their looks clearly communicated that Dean will at least think about giving Cas another chance, and that he does still care, after all. And I'm so, so glad about that.
And then Castiel turning around once more to say "I'm sorry." He knew it wouldn't change anything but he still needed to say it, simply because it's the truth.
When Cas broke down during the ritual, and Dean went to him to help him up again, I honestly expected Dean to stay and hold Cas upright through the rest of the ritual. I understand that you probably don't want to be anywhere near the souls when they all return at once. But I was still a little disappointed by the way Dean seemed to try to get away from Cas again as fast as possible.
Again, I get that Dean is hurt, but couldn't he put that aside for a moment, after Castiel had hinted that he fully expected to die during this ritual?
So for all they knew, this was Castiel's final moment. This was Castiel sacrificing himself to fix as much as he still could. I think he deserved a little comfort here, even if Dean really did hate him - which I don't think he does.
I knew that Misha will be in the next episode, and Castiel's "death" was too obviously not final. Plus, he is still an angel, and assuming that his grace didn't end up in Purgatory with the souls, I didn't see it leave him. So I knew he was still alive. Didn't keep my heart from betraying me, and having me whisper "Come on, Cas, wake up!" over and over until he did.
And then he finally did, and was my brave, nerdy angel again for a moment. Until the Leviathans took over. I knew it couldn't last. Not on this show. And now things are so much worse than they were at the beginning of the episode. But then again, now it is our Cas trapped inside his vessel with these evil things. And Sam and Dean know it. And even without the power of the Purgatory souls Cas is still a stubborn little nerdy dude with wings. And he will fight with everything he has. I believe in my angel. I never stopped believing in him. I know he can do this. I just pray that he doesn't get himself killed in the process.
Is it stupid to hold onto the hope that they won't "kill" the same character twice within two episodes?
I knew he was good, but this... I mean... I'm completely lost for words. I officially declare Misha Collins the best actor to ever have graced my screen. Just wow!
Second of all: I expected a lot of things when going into this episode. I did not expect this.
I did not end up a sobbing mess, even though there were quite a few gasps and tears, not gonna lie. I did not end up raging and screaming and throwing things at my screen.
Quite the contrary. This episode was pretty much perfect. If the storyline as a whole works, will have to be seen next week. But for now, Show and I are good again.
I feel infinitely better about things now. And at the same time infinitely worse and more worried. But in the right way. I think.
A few more thought before I go and read everyone else's reaction - and possibly write a proper review later this weekend:
"Special Guest Star: Misha Collins" stung. Badly. So badly that it brought tears to my eyes. It was probably worse than had he just been "Guest Star". Because in my experience a "Special Guest Star" is someone who used to be on a show, but is gone for good, and just returning for an episode or two. I still hold some hope it won't be in this case, but barely.
Yes, the smiting was wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. But Castiel was new to these powers, and the new position he honestly thought was his, so I can forgive him. But that aside, he was still Castiel. Trying to do the right thing, even if he didn't always succeed. He went for the best possible strategies, by keeping hell, and the cage, and Crowley - the devil he knows - as king of hell. And he seemed to be slightly losing the arrogant god-ness as time went on, and start looking at it as a job instead. He also still did want to be loved. As wrathful as he was in other scenes, there was true and honest kindness when he healed the blind man. He was grateful even.
And more importantly, the "I an indifferent to sexual orientation" wasn't just fanservice. Castiel did care about people's true intentions. And even if he never really was God, if I compare him to how the Christan god often comes across for me (as a non Christian) he was better than his father when he was still around.
I think what I'm trying to say is: After the sneak peek, I was prepared to actually be scared of Cas in this episode. And I wasn't. He was lost and high on power, but he was still Cas. And to be honest? I would have bowed to him and meant it.
The angel wings in Heaven stung. One, because seeing burnt angel wings will always hurt, and two, because nameless followers of Raphael got them, and Balthazar didn't. No, I still can't get over that. I still hope that it will mean something in one way or another.
I'm sorry to say it, but I was so pissed with Dean all through the episode up to the point when Cas came to them for help. I get that he was hurt. And honestly, at first I thought that the reason he decided not to do anything about the situation was because he didn't know how to face Cas. Didn't think he could save him, coudn't bear the thought of killing him.
But then they actually went to Crowley for help. Granted, it wasn't a deal, exactly, but they still asked him for help, and trusted him when he gave them the spell to bind Death. And how even Dean cannot see that this is beyond hypocritical, I honestly don't know.
But even worse when Dean just decided that they had to kill Cas. Not one spare thought on how to get the souls out of him. Not even when Cas stood right before him. When he told Death to "just kill him already"... I'm not sure I'll be able to forgive Dean that for a long time.
Sam, on the other hand. Oh, Sammy! Let me hug you! He is busy trying to keep upright at all, and still he is the one who doesn't give up on Castiel. The one who goes outside, and prays to him in an attempt to help and save him. He was the one to say, that Cas is still somewhere in there, and indicating that he is still their friend that that they owe him to try to save him.
Bobby seemed surprisingly forgiving too.
And Death? Death is still a BAMF, and awesome. But I don't like his talk about that tingling sense that he will reap someone soon. I still hope the writers are only messing with us.
And then Castiel's struggle, when the Leviathans really started to take over. The moment they did in that campaign office you could sp clearly see that wasn't Cas at all any more (again, kudos to Misha). The shock in Castiel's eyes when he woke up broke my heart, and I just wanted to remind him that it wasn't him who had done that. And that it wasn't his fault. After all, he didn't know about the Leviathans before Death told him, did he?
This was, however, the moment he realised, that Death was right, that he wasn't God, and that he couldn't control what's inside him. And he did the only right thing to do. He answered Sam's call and asked for help. And that must have been painful and humiliating, but he still did it. Other than Dean, it seems Castiel learns from his past mistakes.
You know, thinking about it now, returning the soul to Purgatory was possibly a mistake. They didn't know that the Leviathans would be left behind, and the souls would probably have burned through Castiel's vessel in no time - I'm assuming that the burns were from the souls, since they disappeared the moment they were gone - so it wasn't a mistake they could have avoided. But without the soul, Castiel was too weak to fight the Leviathans any more.
Castiel all broken and "fully" himself again broke my heart. He never asked Dean to forgive him right there and then. He only asked for a chance to redeem himself. He promised to do whatever it takes to make things up the best he can, even though he isn't sure that Dean will ever really forgive him. And even though Dean's words claimed that it didn't make him feel better, their looks clearly communicated that Dean will at least think about giving Cas another chance, and that he does still care, after all. And I'm so, so glad about that.
And then Castiel turning around once more to say "I'm sorry." He knew it wouldn't change anything but he still needed to say it, simply because it's the truth.
When Cas broke down during the ritual, and Dean went to him to help him up again, I honestly expected Dean to stay and hold Cas upright through the rest of the ritual. I understand that you probably don't want to be anywhere near the souls when they all return at once. But I was still a little disappointed by the way Dean seemed to try to get away from Cas again as fast as possible.
Again, I get that Dean is hurt, but couldn't he put that aside for a moment, after Castiel had hinted that he fully expected to die during this ritual?
So for all they knew, this was Castiel's final moment. This was Castiel sacrificing himself to fix as much as he still could. I think he deserved a little comfort here, even if Dean really did hate him - which I don't think he does.
I knew that Misha will be in the next episode, and Castiel's "death" was too obviously not final. Plus, he is still an angel, and assuming that his grace didn't end up in Purgatory with the souls, I didn't see it leave him. So I knew he was still alive. Didn't keep my heart from betraying me, and having me whisper "Come on, Cas, wake up!" over and over until he did.
And then he finally did, and was my brave, nerdy angel again for a moment. Until the Leviathans took over. I knew it couldn't last. Not on this show. And now things are so much worse than they were at the beginning of the episode. But then again, now it is our Cas trapped inside his vessel with these evil things. And Sam and Dean know it. And even without the power of the Purgatory souls Cas is still a stubborn little nerdy dude with wings. And he will fight with everything he has. I believe in my angel. I never stopped believing in him. I know he can do this. I just pray that he doesn't get himself killed in the process.
Is it stupid to hold onto the hope that they won't "kill" the same character twice within two episodes?
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Since it's become something of a tradition with us now though I thought I'd pop over to talk to you about Dean.
Oh Dean. Dean. DEAN.
I flutuated between feeling sorry for him as he drowned himself in alcohol and appeared to be grieving to feeling like I'd been slapped in the face at the 'kill him now!' line.
But then he seemed genuinely upset when Cas wasn't breathing and gave that subtle nod when Cas was promising to redeem himself that I take as stoic Dean-non-speak for a promise to accept that and a desire to forgive and (hopefully) work at some redemption of his own.
The way I'm seeing it right now is that denial was abounding throughout because the truth was too painful.
It was too painful to admit that his best friend CAS might be mascarading as God, so Dean HAD to believe that there was nothing of his friend left, that there was no way of reaching him. Meaning killing him was the best and only opition, something cleaner and easier to deal with than working through any difficult emotions the guy might be feeling (much like I imagine Cas felt in regards to Bal at the end, in fact).
Then later, when Cas was pouring his heart out and apologising, it was, of course, too painful for Dean to face up to the idea that, to his GUILT over the fact that, he might have stuff to apologise for too. Much easier to roll with the blame Cas was giving himself, pretend everything lay on Cas' shoulders, be gruff with the guy, tell him yeah he should feel bad, because perhaps that will stop Dean feeling bad himself.
And then when Cas was dead we get Dean repeating a couple of things from last season 'Cas, you child' and 'you should have come to me for help,' which, imo, is more denial of his own responsibility for the situation. Denial Dean needs even more at that moment cos he's not just trying to avoid the pain and guilt of his part in Castiel's misguided godhood, he's trying to avoid his part in Cas' DEATH, the idea that HE HELPED make his angel all cold and bloody at his feet by NOT helping him when he could have.
So yeah. Dean was a dick, AGAIN. But it's no different to the kind of dick he's always been and I CAN WORK WITH THAT. He's like... like those cowardly characters epic stories sometimes have you know? At the moment at least. The ones that spend the whole quest running and hiding and sometimes even leading the rest of the team into trouble. The ones everyone usually hates, but I always watch like a hawk because I KNOW there's a trope for cowardly characters like that, I know that, once their cowardace has been built up enough they will be given a chance at a defining moment of glory where they will finally man up and save the day and be all the stronger and braver and more interesting than the leads for it...
Not that I'm holding out for Dean to actually get one of these. To actually say the words 'I'm sorry too, Cas' and mean them in all the ways I want him to. But the potential is there, and right now that's enough for me.
/ramble
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So thanks for sharing! :-)
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But I agree about Misha deserving an award. His acting just keeps getting more and more breathtaking.
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For me, it was worse than anything I could have imagined and the scene were the leviathan is trying to get out of Cas made me cry. I realized then and there that whatever that thing was it was more powerful than our angel. I have never been sadder about being right in my life. And I agree with you, I'm so mad at Dean right now, I just wanna kick that pretty ass of his. Sammy being so understanding and forgiving is understandable I think, I mean, he brought on the Apocalypse, not a small thing. I'd even say it was just as big and just as bad as swallowing souls and proclaiming to be the new God. Btw, Cas' skin reminded me of the way Lucifer's skin looked in the end. It was so gruesome.
I agree with all my heart that Misha should get a billion awards for this. Why no one in Hollywood knows him (I couldn't believe it when I read that interview he gave) I don't know. The man's a freaking genius. And the Hollywood execs are effing idiot a-holes.
One last thing, so you think that maybe everything could really just be happening in Sam's mind the way that Lucifer told him? I don't know why but it reminded me of the Dallas story line where Bobby returns and all the episodes before when he was supposed to be dead were just a dream. I wish this was all a dream and Cas was still alive and I want my favorite angel back and I don't care how pathetic that may sound.
I hope this all makes sense in some way. If it doesn't, I'm still in a bit of a shock. The only good thing I can see right now is that I have more hope that this season may be better than the last. If nothing else, I feel emotional in a way I haven't felt for many episodes of season 6. But let's wait and see what'll happen.
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