"Because you're still my brother"
May. 5th, 2007 01:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
gwaevalarinSupernatural broke my heart into tiny little pieces. Again.
I'm sitting here and there's about a thousand things I want to write about this episode, but... OMG!
I think I laughed and cried at the same time pretty much all through the episode.
The very first thing I noticed in this episode: Metallicar has a new licence plate.
I miss the old one. I'm used to it. I want it back. I know that it makes sense that they changed it with the FBI looking for them and their just having broken out of prison but still... *pouts*
Sam calls Dean because there's a police car in front of the motel. They're really screwed. Luckily the cops weren't looking for them. But (back) to the job: The boys are looking for some missing persons and Sam found out that a Djinn is responsible for their disappearance.
That's funny really. I was reading about Djinns a few days ago and thought about the fact that they hadn't explored that one on Supernatural yet and tada, here we go.
Dean knows where to look for the Djinn and drives there alone. He goes into some old, abandoned office building or something, the Djinn - some guy with tatoos all over his body - finds him and before Dean really has a chance to react the Djinn's eyes and hand glow blue and I feel like we're back in Asylum (Asylum! Thiiiii! Next week! Erm... sorry).
Next thing Dean wakes up in what looks like a really comfortable bed next to a pretty girl while some movie in black and white is playing on a flat tv. And Dean doen't wear his neclace.
It's not hard to guess what's happened. Even without "Yes, master. *bling*" (I'm actually rather thinking of Phoebe than "I dream of Jeannie" at the moment)
Dean calls Sam who acts normal until he doesn't know what Djinn Dean is talking about.
"The Djinn attacked me."
"Gin? You're drinking Gin?"
So obviously the girl's name is Carmen and Sam knows her. Sam thinks Dean is drunk and when he closes the book he was just reading it's about criminal law. Welcome to the new reality. In which Dean lives in Lawrence, Kansas.
Carmen comes into the room - she is pretty! - and it seems like they're in a longtime relationship and Dean is so not comfortable with having a girlfriend. Actually he looks terrified. This has to be hell, huh, Dean? ;) A house, a girlfriend, framed photos. The only thing missing is kids. *g*
And then Dean notices a photo and stares at it in disbelieve.
The photo falls to the floor and Dean leaves the house to drive - yeah, Metallicar! With him in every reality. - to a place he swore he'd never go back to: Their old home where everything started. Or not.
He rings the bell and:
"Mom?"
That was the moment when I started crying. Here is all he ever wanted. His family to be alive and save and yet I knew however this episode will continue one thing is clear: He'll lose that again. And I really can't decide if he'll at least have experienced this life so that no one can take that memory from him even if it strictly speaking never will have happened or if it is just cruel that he'll experience what his life could have been like just to lose it again.
But right now Dean's standing there not able to believe yet that this is really true and the first thing he can think about asking her is what she always told him when she tucked him in. A question to which we all know the answer.
"I told you angels were watching over you."
This is Dean's dream coming true. This is everything he ever wanted and still there's this voice in my head repeating over and over again that though he doesn't know it yet he is gonna lose this again because the world is cruel like that.
And then there's the first shock: John's dead in this reality as well. He had a stroke and died in his bed. How sad is it that Dean is happy about that news because it is so much better than what happened to John in the world Dean came from?
When Dean wakes up the next morning he needs a few seconds to remember what's happened. But Dean can't just accept it. He has to make sure and since his walking encyclopeida of weird is probably a walking encyclopedia of law now he has to get his informations about Djinn from someone else. A college teacher for example. We learn that Djinn have godlike powers and can alter reality. Dean consideres the possibility that Djinn aren't evil and is asked if he's drunk for the third time now. And then he does just accept it.
"Who'd have thought, baby, we are civilians."
Yeah, but just because there're no weapons in her trunk any more doesn't mean you have to use it as a trashbin, Dean.
Dean notices a girl at the other side of the street who's staring at him and then suddenly disappears. Well, just because the Winchesters are no family of hunters any more doesn't mean that there's no supernatural world any more either.
Dean is back at his mother's. We learn that he works at a garage probably the one his father worked at and that Dean actually does want to have a normal life. He'd never admit it but now, with Mary alive and no demons he really does enjoy it. Mowing the lawn, greeting the neighbours. He looks so... insouciant.
And the Sam arrives (couldn't he keep his clothingstyle from the other reality?) With Jess. And I think that is even more important to Dean than anything else. Sam has the life he's always wanted: He's in Stanford at law school, Jess is alive. And he's completely oblivious to what's out there in the dark.
The reason Sam and Jess flew in is Mary's birthday. So it's the 2nd November (acoording to the Origins), right? Thde whole family goes to the restaurant: Sam and Jess, Dean and Carmen and Mary. I miss John but in this reality it's sad but okay that he's not there.
Awwwwwwww!
And Carmen is great. And she knows him.
"What do you say: Later we get you a cheesburger."
And then there's another surprise. Sam and Jess got engaged. Another scene that made me cry. It's such a perfect and beautiful scene but when you know how things went in the real world it also so sad.
Dean goes over to Sam to congratulate him. They're finally gonna hug, right? Of course thy're gonna... shake hands. ARGGGGG! And yes, I did cry out loud with frustration. Kripke is so doing this on purpose.
Sam looks a bit surprised that Dean cares so much about this and then Dean sees the girl (ghost?) again but again she just vanishes.
When Dean suggests that the four of them could go and have a drink Sam asks the girls to excuse them so that he can speak to his brother. And then there's the biggest shock of the episode: Sam and Dean barely talk to each other. They don't even really know each other. It makes sense when you think about it but the possibility never came to my mind. And that right there, that's the moment when I start to hate that reality. No! This is just wrong.
And it hits Dean, of course. That's the one thing in this world he has to change. He and Sam have to be brothers again more than just in having the same parents.
And Carmen... the more I see of her the more I like her. Congratulation! You found someone who has chemistry with Dean, who's supportive of the things he does and who he can have a serious relationship with and still be the Dean we know. Can he please meet her in the real world as well? (Yeah, I know, we find out later that he can't. *sighs*)
And then there's something else Dean didn't think about yet. When he turns on the news he hears about the anniversary of the crash of flight 424. The very crash he and Sam stopped in Phantom Traveller. Everyone he, Sam and John saved in the other reality died in this one since they never became hunters. It's great that the news Dean looks up all refer to episodes of the show: Something Wicked, ElaC, Playthings.
Dean sees someone - probably the girl again - walk through the house and in a closet discovers two hanging corpses. When he turns around they have disappeared.
Dean visits his fathers grave. John had a middle name? The gravestone says "John E. Winchester". I wonder what the E stands for.
The fact that all the people they've saved are dead gets to Dean. As much as he wants this life he knows that he can't just pretend he doesn'd know what is out there. He can't just let those people die knowing that he could've saved them. And he knows that his father - the one he knew - would want him to save them.
"But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? Mom's not supposed to live her life? Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad? It's... yeah."
It's not fair. That's what you wanted to say, Dean, right? No, it's not fair. And I think it's remarkable that once again Dean doesn't think about himself. He thinks about Mary and Sam. I know by now that his family is so much more important to him than his own life but still every time I'm moved by that. By that unconditional love.
The next scene mirrors the pilot so obviously. There are some shots that almost look like they just reused the shots from the pilot. Sam and Jess sleeping is exactly the same picture. The noise. Sam getting up and Dean fighting him down. Only that the fight here is so much shorter with Sam not being trained.
Dean wanted to steal Mary's silver. We all know what Dean needs silver for. A clue: It's not for money like he says.
"I can't believe we're even related."
*miep* That hurt.
"Sam, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we don't get along. And I wish to hell I could stay amd fix it. [...] Tell Mom I love her."
Dean's gonna leave and become a hunter again. So that he can save all those people and his family can still live the lives they deserve. Oh, Dean... He's willing to give up everything for them.
But luckily Sam is still Sam and he's not just going to let Dean go.
"Look, whatever stupid thing you're about to do you're not doing it alone and that's that."
"I don't understand. Why are you doing this?"
"Because you're still my brother."
Okay, these tears I'm crying right now thy are the sort of positive ones. They are still brothers. Nothin can ever change that.
"Bitch."
"What are you calling me a bitch for?"
"You're supposed to say Jerk."
Or in other words: The right answer'd have been "I love you, too." *smiles sadly*
Clueless Sam is so cute. And so freaked out. Lamb's blood. Silver knifes. Djinns. And Dean just winding down the window and throwing Sam's phone out. They drive back to Illinois where the Djinn is and when they arrive Sam is asleep. Awwww!
The hunt is a little more complicated this time with Sam having no idea how to deal with a supernatural creature which means Dean has to look out for him. More than usual.
They find the corpses Dean saw in the closet and the girl. Her blood being drawn off by the Djinn. I think I know where Dean really is. So the Djinn doesn't change reality. It's all just in it's victims' heads to keep them quiet while they slowly bleed to death.
Dean realizes that he's probably tied up somewhere there as well slowly dying and he needs a way to snap out of it.
"If you're about to die in a dream you wake up."
That's right but before you kill yourself you should be a little bit surer than 90%. Luckily I'm 99,99% sure Dean's right. But the Djinn won't let him go that easily.
"Why did you have to keep digging. Why couldn't you have left it well enough alone. You were happy."
"Put the knife down, honey."
"You're not real. None of it is."
"It doesn't matter. It's still better than anything you had. It's everything you want. We're a family again. Let's go home."
"I'll die. The Djinn is draining the life out of me in a couple of days."
"But in here with us it'll feel like years. Like a lifetime. I promise. No more pain. No more fear. Just love, comfort and savety. Dean, stay with us. Get some rest."
"You don't have to worry about Sam anymore. Watch him live a full life."
"We can have a future together. Have a family. I love you, Dean."
"Why is it our job to save everyone? Haven't we done enough? I'm begging you. Give me the knife."
That scene is heartbreaking. The music. His family, this opportunity for a almost perfect life. It's tempting to just forget or ignore that it's not real. Honestly I don't know if I could say no. But there's one important thing here even if no one mentiones it: The real Sam is still out in the real world and he needs Dean. And since Sam is and will always be more important to Dean than anyone or anything else including himself there's no way Dean's going to stay and leave his brother behind.
Dean stabs himself and the plan works. He wakes up the same moment Sam finds him. In a crueler but real world. And when the Djinn attacks and Sam is in danger Dean instantly finds the strength again to fight and save his brother. He can even save the girl.
I'm surprised that Dean opens up tells Sam all about the world he visited. Maybe it's because he realizes how much it is worth that they are so close and get along so well.
"You should have seen it, Sam. Our lifes. You were such a wussy."
"So we didn't get along then, huh?"
"No."
"Yeah. I thought it was supposed to be that perfect fantasy."
"It wasn't. It was just a wish. I wished for Mom to live. Mom never died, we never went hunting and you and me we just never...you know."
"Yeah. Well, I'm glad we do. And I'm glad you dug yourself out, Dean. most people wouldn't have had the strength. They'd just have stayed"
"Yeah, lucky me."
Actually, yeah, lucky you. Cause I think despite all they had to go through there's also some good things they just have because things happened the way they did. Like the way the look out for each other and can count on each other. I'm convinced that if you could change the past for the better you'd always lose something as well.
"People are alive because of you. It's worth it. Dean, it is. It's not fair and it hurts like hell but it's worth it."
I think it really is. *smiles sadly*
Edit: Just noticed: They killed Jeffrey again. Now he was in a show where he died before the first episode and in one where he died twice. It really is a curse, isn't it?
I'm sitting here and there's about a thousand things I want to write about this episode, but... OMG!
I think I laughed and cried at the same time pretty much all through the episode.
The very first thing I noticed in this episode: Metallicar has a new licence plate.
I miss the old one. I'm used to it. I want it back. I know that it makes sense that they changed it with the FBI looking for them and their just having broken out of prison but still... *pouts*
Sam calls Dean because there's a police car in front of the motel. They're really screwed. Luckily the cops weren't looking for them. But (back) to the job: The boys are looking for some missing persons and Sam found out that a Djinn is responsible for their disappearance.
That's funny really. I was reading about Djinns a few days ago and thought about the fact that they hadn't explored that one on Supernatural yet and tada, here we go.
Dean knows where to look for the Djinn and drives there alone. He goes into some old, abandoned office building or something, the Djinn - some guy with tatoos all over his body - finds him and before Dean really has a chance to react the Djinn's eyes and hand glow blue and I feel like we're back in Asylum (Asylum! Thiiiii! Next week! Erm... sorry).
Next thing Dean wakes up in what looks like a really comfortable bed next to a pretty girl while some movie in black and white is playing on a flat tv. And Dean doen't wear his neclace.
It's not hard to guess what's happened. Even without "Yes, master. *bling*" (I'm actually rather thinking of Phoebe than "I dream of Jeannie" at the moment)
Dean calls Sam who acts normal until he doesn't know what Djinn Dean is talking about.
"The Djinn attacked me."
"Gin? You're drinking Gin?"
So obviously the girl's name is Carmen and Sam knows her. Sam thinks Dean is drunk and when he closes the book he was just reading it's about criminal law. Welcome to the new reality. In which Dean lives in Lawrence, Kansas.
Carmen comes into the room - she is pretty! - and it seems like they're in a longtime relationship and Dean is so not comfortable with having a girlfriend. Actually he looks terrified. This has to be hell, huh, Dean? ;) A house, a girlfriend, framed photos. The only thing missing is kids. *g*
And then Dean notices a photo and stares at it in disbelieve.
The photo falls to the floor and Dean leaves the house to drive - yeah, Metallicar! With him in every reality. - to a place he swore he'd never go back to: Their old home where everything started. Or not.
He rings the bell and:
"Mom?"
That was the moment when I started crying. Here is all he ever wanted. His family to be alive and save and yet I knew however this episode will continue one thing is clear: He'll lose that again. And I really can't decide if he'll at least have experienced this life so that no one can take that memory from him even if it strictly speaking never will have happened or if it is just cruel that he'll experience what his life could have been like just to lose it again.
But right now Dean's standing there not able to believe yet that this is really true and the first thing he can think about asking her is what she always told him when she tucked him in. A question to which we all know the answer.
"I told you angels were watching over you."
This is Dean's dream coming true. This is everything he ever wanted and still there's this voice in my head repeating over and over again that though he doesn't know it yet he is gonna lose this again because the world is cruel like that.
And then there's the first shock: John's dead in this reality as well. He had a stroke and died in his bed. How sad is it that Dean is happy about that news because it is so much better than what happened to John in the world Dean came from?
When Dean wakes up the next morning he needs a few seconds to remember what's happened. But Dean can't just accept it. He has to make sure and since his walking encyclopeida of weird is probably a walking encyclopedia of law now he has to get his informations about Djinn from someone else. A college teacher for example. We learn that Djinn have godlike powers and can alter reality. Dean consideres the possibility that Djinn aren't evil and is asked if he's drunk for the third time now. And then he does just accept it.
"Who'd have thought, baby, we are civilians."
Yeah, but just because there're no weapons in her trunk any more doesn't mean you have to use it as a trashbin, Dean.
Dean notices a girl at the other side of the street who's staring at him and then suddenly disappears. Well, just because the Winchesters are no family of hunters any more doesn't mean that there's no supernatural world any more either.
Dean is back at his mother's. We learn that he works at a garage probably the one his father worked at and that Dean actually does want to have a normal life. He'd never admit it but now, with Mary alive and no demons he really does enjoy it. Mowing the lawn, greeting the neighbours. He looks so... insouciant.
And the Sam arrives (couldn't he keep his clothingstyle from the other reality?) With Jess. And I think that is even more important to Dean than anything else. Sam has the life he's always wanted: He's in Stanford at law school, Jess is alive. And he's completely oblivious to what's out there in the dark.
The reason Sam and Jess flew in is Mary's birthday. So it's the 2nd November (acoording to the Origins), right? Thde whole family goes to the restaurant: Sam and Jess, Dean and Carmen and Mary. I miss John but in this reality it's sad but okay that he's not there.
Awwwwwwww!
And Carmen is great. And she knows him.
"What do you say: Later we get you a cheesburger."
And then there's another surprise. Sam and Jess got engaged. Another scene that made me cry. It's such a perfect and beautiful scene but when you know how things went in the real world it also so sad.
Dean goes over to Sam to congratulate him. They're finally gonna hug, right? Of course thy're gonna... shake hands. ARGGGGG! And yes, I did cry out loud with frustration. Kripke is so doing this on purpose.
Sam looks a bit surprised that Dean cares so much about this and then Dean sees the girl (ghost?) again but again she just vanishes.
When Dean suggests that the four of them could go and have a drink Sam asks the girls to excuse them so that he can speak to his brother. And then there's the biggest shock of the episode: Sam and Dean barely talk to each other. They don't even really know each other. It makes sense when you think about it but the possibility never came to my mind. And that right there, that's the moment when I start to hate that reality. No! This is just wrong.
And it hits Dean, of course. That's the one thing in this world he has to change. He and Sam have to be brothers again more than just in having the same parents.
And Carmen... the more I see of her the more I like her. Congratulation! You found someone who has chemistry with Dean, who's supportive of the things he does and who he can have a serious relationship with and still be the Dean we know. Can he please meet her in the real world as well? (Yeah, I know, we find out later that he can't. *sighs*)
And then there's something else Dean didn't think about yet. When he turns on the news he hears about the anniversary of the crash of flight 424. The very crash he and Sam stopped in Phantom Traveller. Everyone he, Sam and John saved in the other reality died in this one since they never became hunters. It's great that the news Dean looks up all refer to episodes of the show: Something Wicked, ElaC, Playthings.
Dean sees someone - probably the girl again - walk through the house and in a closet discovers two hanging corpses. When he turns around they have disappeared.
Dean visits his fathers grave. John had a middle name? The gravestone says "John E. Winchester". I wonder what the E stands for.
The fact that all the people they've saved are dead gets to Dean. As much as he wants this life he knows that he can't just pretend he doesn'd know what is out there. He can't just let those people die knowing that he could've saved them. And he knows that his father - the one he knew - would want him to save them.
"But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? Mom's not supposed to live her life? Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad? It's... yeah."
It's not fair. That's what you wanted to say, Dean, right? No, it's not fair. And I think it's remarkable that once again Dean doesn't think about himself. He thinks about Mary and Sam. I know by now that his family is so much more important to him than his own life but still every time I'm moved by that. By that unconditional love.
The next scene mirrors the pilot so obviously. There are some shots that almost look like they just reused the shots from the pilot. Sam and Jess sleeping is exactly the same picture. The noise. Sam getting up and Dean fighting him down. Only that the fight here is so much shorter with Sam not being trained.
Dean wanted to steal Mary's silver. We all know what Dean needs silver for. A clue: It's not for money like he says.
"I can't believe we're even related."
*miep* That hurt.
"Sam, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that we don't get along. And I wish to hell I could stay amd fix it. [...] Tell Mom I love her."
Dean's gonna leave and become a hunter again. So that he can save all those people and his family can still live the lives they deserve. Oh, Dean... He's willing to give up everything for them.
But luckily Sam is still Sam and he's not just going to let Dean go.
"Look, whatever stupid thing you're about to do you're not doing it alone and that's that."
"I don't understand. Why are you doing this?"
"Because you're still my brother."
Okay, these tears I'm crying right now thy are the sort of positive ones. They are still brothers. Nothin can ever change that.
"Bitch."
"What are you calling me a bitch for?"
"You're supposed to say Jerk."
Or in other words: The right answer'd have been "I love you, too." *smiles sadly*
Clueless Sam is so cute. And so freaked out. Lamb's blood. Silver knifes. Djinns. And Dean just winding down the window and throwing Sam's phone out. They drive back to Illinois where the Djinn is and when they arrive Sam is asleep. Awwww!
The hunt is a little more complicated this time with Sam having no idea how to deal with a supernatural creature which means Dean has to look out for him. More than usual.
They find the corpses Dean saw in the closet and the girl. Her blood being drawn off by the Djinn. I think I know where Dean really is. So the Djinn doesn't change reality. It's all just in it's victims' heads to keep them quiet while they slowly bleed to death.
Dean realizes that he's probably tied up somewhere there as well slowly dying and he needs a way to snap out of it.
"If you're about to die in a dream you wake up."
That's right but before you kill yourself you should be a little bit surer than 90%. Luckily I'm 99,99% sure Dean's right. But the Djinn won't let him go that easily.
"Why did you have to keep digging. Why couldn't you have left it well enough alone. You were happy."
"Put the knife down, honey."
"You're not real. None of it is."
"It doesn't matter. It's still better than anything you had. It's everything you want. We're a family again. Let's go home."
"I'll die. The Djinn is draining the life out of me in a couple of days."
"But in here with us it'll feel like years. Like a lifetime. I promise. No more pain. No more fear. Just love, comfort and savety. Dean, stay with us. Get some rest."
"You don't have to worry about Sam anymore. Watch him live a full life."
"We can have a future together. Have a family. I love you, Dean."
"Why is it our job to save everyone? Haven't we done enough? I'm begging you. Give me the knife."
That scene is heartbreaking. The music. His family, this opportunity for a almost perfect life. It's tempting to just forget or ignore that it's not real. Honestly I don't know if I could say no. But there's one important thing here even if no one mentiones it: The real Sam is still out in the real world and he needs Dean. And since Sam is and will always be more important to Dean than anyone or anything else including himself there's no way Dean's going to stay and leave his brother behind.
Dean stabs himself and the plan works. He wakes up the same moment Sam finds him. In a crueler but real world. And when the Djinn attacks and Sam is in danger Dean instantly finds the strength again to fight and save his brother. He can even save the girl.
I'm surprised that Dean opens up tells Sam all about the world he visited. Maybe it's because he realizes how much it is worth that they are so close and get along so well.
"You should have seen it, Sam. Our lifes. You were such a wussy."
"So we didn't get along then, huh?"
"No."
"Yeah. I thought it was supposed to be that perfect fantasy."
"It wasn't. It was just a wish. I wished for Mom to live. Mom never died, we never went hunting and you and me we just never...you know."
"Yeah. Well, I'm glad we do. And I'm glad you dug yourself out, Dean. most people wouldn't have had the strength. They'd just have stayed"
"Yeah, lucky me."
Actually, yeah, lucky you. Cause I think despite all they had to go through there's also some good things they just have because things happened the way they did. Like the way the look out for each other and can count on each other. I'm convinced that if you could change the past for the better you'd always lose something as well.
"People are alive because of you. It's worth it. Dean, it is. It's not fair and it hurts like hell but it's worth it."
I think it really is. *smiles sadly*
Edit: Just noticed: They killed Jeffrey again. Now he was in a show where he died before the first episode and in one where he died twice. It really is a curse, isn't it?
