My feelings are all over the place. This is my instant reaction, just the stuff that popped into my head while writing, the tip of the iceberg. I have no idea how I am ever supposed to put everything I think and feel into words. My head is spinning. But to be honest, I kinda missed that feeling.
You know, while I was writing the parts about Dean, I was actually thinking: "I bet Holly will disagree with me here." ;)
It may come as a surprise, but I agree with most of what you say. I know I wrote I was angry with Dean pretty much throughout the entire episode but most of the time I could actually understand why he acts the way he acts. At least a little.
There are two things that I can think of right now, that I'm having real trouble with: The first one is asking Crowley for help. Really? After everything? And the second, and much worse one, was the "kill him now". Sitting at Bobby's, drowning his pain in alcohol, and saying that Cas is gone is one thing. But looking at Castiel, who didn't look all that sure and powerful any more at that point, and hearing from Death what is going on, and still saying those words so coldly, in such a I-don't-fucking-care-I-just-want-him-gone way... forgiving him that is just asking a lot. The last few minutes of the episode, when Dean clearly did care, made it a bit better. But... I can't just fogive and forget here, you know. I'm sure I will eventually. But I'm also sure it will take time, and very much depend on Dean coming around before it is too late for Cas.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-09-24 09:31 am (UTC)You know, while I was writing the parts about Dean, I was actually thinking: "I bet Holly will disagree with me here." ;)
It may come as a surprise, but I agree with most of what you say. I know I wrote I was angry with Dean pretty much throughout the entire episode but most of the time I could actually understand why he acts the way he acts. At least a little.
There are two things that I can think of right now, that I'm having real trouble with:
The first one is asking Crowley for help. Really? After everything?
And the second, and much worse one, was the "kill him now". Sitting at Bobby's, drowning his pain in alcohol, and saying that Cas is gone is one thing. But looking at Castiel, who didn't look all that sure and powerful any more at that point, and hearing from Death what is going on, and still saying those words so coldly, in such a I-don't-fucking-care-I-just-want-him-gone way... forgiving him that is just asking a lot.
The last few minutes of the episode, when Dean clearly did care, made it a bit better. But... I can't just fogive and forget here, you know. I'm sure I will eventually. But I'm also sure it will take time, and very much depend on Dean coming around before it is too late for Cas.