Castiel - Between Heaven and Earth (Part 7)

[gwaevalarin]

What happened to you? - Life (5x04)

After his encounter with Raphael it seems like Castiel has given up on his mission. He is still searching for God but rather to keep himself occupied. And he's obviously looking for alternatives now that might help with Dean's plan to kill Lucifer. Funny that no one has thought about the Colt before. But Dean probably really thought that it was lost for good.



I have no idea what Cas is doing at the side of a highway in the middle of nowhere. But the important part is that he is going with Dean's plan now even though he still doesn't believe it will work. But if that's the course Dean's mind is set on then Castiel will follow.
And they will start right now, if Castiel has his way. He looks a tiny little bit annoyed when Dean metions that, as a human, he might need a little sleep once in a while. Like it is one of those annoying little quirks Dean has. But he accepts Dean's wish for at least a few hours of rest.


"I'll just - wait here then."

Castiel looks so very lonely standing at this street in the middle of nowhere. It's another one of those scenes that clearly show that he literally has nothing and no one left. No mission, nothing to drive him, nothing worth living for, except for Dean.

And in 2014 we see what happens if that last anchor is taken away from him as well.
Castiel is practically human but he will never really be human. He is an angel without his powers, feeling useless and more alone than ever. Alone, because Dean is gone, not pysically but emotionally. Castiel still follows Dean wherever Dean leads him and Dean still trusts Castiel. But their connection is broken. They're not friends any more, they are just fighting side by side because there's nothing else left to do in this broken, post-apocalyptic world.
So there Castiel, former Angel of the Lord, is, drowning his pain in women, drugs, alcohol.



When 2009!Dean walks into the room Castiel instantly notices that this is not "his" Dean which is probably part last traces of angelic powers and part knowing Dean inside out. His voice changes when he talks to Dean. He's still more honest with Dean than with anyone else around, letting some of his real, buried feelings shine through a little. Not the pain but the annoyance and the bitterness.

His laugh when Dean asks him to strip on his angels wings is without the slightest hint of humour. It's pure bitterness. And there is a hint of reproach. After all, Dean is the reason he ended up in this situation. It all happened where 2009!Dean comes from. In a time, when Cas would have done anything for Dean and Dean still let him fall in the end.


"What happened to you?"
"Life."

What happened to Cas is life in the darkest, messiest way possible. The sort of life where you have to wake up and realise that it is never fair and will fuck with you whether you deserve it or not. There are no happy endings, no rewards for doing the right thing. So why bother?

Cas is just living from day to day, trying to somehow make it through and doing whatever Dean asks of him because it's the only thing he knows and because, depite all, Dean is still all he has even though he can't even bring himself to say his name any more, only calling him their fearless leader. He got used to it. He's probably hasn't even really felt the pain any more in a long time. But then 2009!Dean turns up and reminds him of where he comes from, of what he's lost.

Castiel doesn't like that Dean is torturing again. He's gotten used to the thought just like he's gotten used to everything else. But you can hear his disapproval when he tells Risa (and 2009!Dean) about it. He's sarcastic about pretty much everything he says to Dean. Telling him with every single sentence how much it hurts that Dean let him down like this, that Dean doesn't care any more. And seeing this past version of Dean right next to his Dean, seeing the difference, seeing where Dean came from, only makes it worse because Cas knows that there's no going back to the way things were. Ever.
And still Castiel is willing to follow Dean, walking right towards certain death if he has to.

When Cas is alone again with 2009!Dean he's opening up a little more, reminded of old times when anything still meant something. His laugh is still bitter and without humour when he's telling 2009!Dean that he lost everything, but he is talking about it. About how he feels useless and how he wishes things had turned out differently. And about how he has simply given up.


"And now I'm powerless. I'm hapless, I'm hopeless. I mean, why the hell not bury myself in women and decadence, right? It's the end, baby. That's what decadence is for. Why not bang a few gongs before the lights go out?"

Whe Dean sends him in through the front door to sacrifice him, Castiel knows exactly what is going on. Cas isn't stupid. He knows he's going to die and he knows that Dean hardly cares any more. And I wish I could believe that he does it for Dean but he really does it because he is tired and death feels like a relieve, just finally leaving it all behind.



And that is the end of Castiel in this timelinle. He dies fighting for Dean but he's really been dead for a long time.

Back in 2009, Castiel is still standing alone at the side of the road. Cut of from heaven, alone and confused by humanity but full of hope and faith. Helping Dean because he cares. There is a small smile on is lips when he saves Dean from Zachariah. But small as it may be, it is true and heartfelt and and his eyes shine with emotions, with love in its purest form.


"Don't ever change."

Castiel might not know where his path leads right now but he knows who he is and what he's fighting for and that is enough. As long as he has Dean and as long as he has hope he'll be okay.


I can't take that chance. (5x06)

Castiel turns up pretty much as soon as Dean and Sam send him a message and, of course he knows exactly who or what they are dealing with: The Anti-Christ. And the solution to that problem is to kill him, which sounds harsh but think about it: Castiel hasn't met Jesse. He doesn't think of him a kid, he thinks of him a powerful supernatural being that might - and most likely will - play a huge part in this Apocalypse responsible for taking thousands, probably millions of lives if Hell ever finds him. And still, Castiel doesn't look entirely comfortable when he suggests to end the kid's life. He knows that Dean and Sam won't like it. But in his eyes it is what needs to be done.


"The demons will find this child. Lucifer will twist this boy to his purpose and then with a word this child will destroy the Host of Heaven."

It's like someone flipped a switch in Castiel, like he's forgotten that he's not really working for heaven any more. Something about this name, the Anti-Christ, turns him back from falling angel into an Angel of the Lord. It seems like the necessity to kill this child at all costs is something that has been branded into his angelic brain because that child is so dangerous that there can't be any doubt about what needs to be done and it makes him angry that Sam, the guy who'd drink demon blood to stop the apocalypse, is talking about them being the good guys and this being something that the good guys don't do. What he completely misses is the difference between doing something to yourself and killing an innocent for the greater good.


"So we tell him the truth. You say Jesse is destined to go dark side. Fine. But the hasn't yet. So if we lay it all out for him, what he is, the Apocalypse, everything, he might make the right choice."
"You didn't. And I can't take that chance."

That's just plain unfair, thinking about how Castiel played his part in starting the Apocalypse just as Sam and Dean did. And Castiel probably knows that. But it's the old anger boiling up, the anger he usually keeps locked inside, the anger about him losing everything and now feeling that he's been let down. This is one of those moments where you can clearly see how much angel he still is.

So he decides to go through with his plan alone. He's lying the boy in his face, telling him that he won't hurt him and yet this is the first sign that Castiel isn't really as cold-hearted about this as he would like to be. He knows that this boy hasn't done anything wrong yet. He knows that, future evil or not, right now it is an innocent child that he's planning to kill and he wants it to be over for Jesse and himself as quickly and painlessly as possible.


"I'm sorry."

Now that he's standing before the Anti-Christ he sees the child, not the demon spawn, and even though he's still convinced he's doing the right thing it's suddenly a tough choice and it hurts. It hurts so much that Castiel can hardly go through with it. And he hesitates just long enough for Jesse to save himself and possibly Castiel's conscience.

Castiel owes it to Dean that he doesn't have to spend the rest of eternity as a plastic figure on a mantelpiece. He doesn't seem too disappointed that the kid has disappeared. He even calls him by his name, acknowledging that he is a person not just a threat. Sure, this might turn out so wrong and Jesse might still tip the scale in Hell's favour but it is out of Castiel's hands now and I believe that the angel is glad about that.


This thing is much more powerful than it should be. (5x08)

Castiel doesn't hear from Dean for a few days and he comes looking for him. That tells you a lot about how close they're staying in contact. He makes it into Gabriel's little playground but doesn't know who they're dealing with yet.

Being zapped away once doesn't make Castiel give up. To be honest, I don't even want to know where Gabriel zapped him but is does become obvious that Gabriel isn't too fond of his little brother. Castiel still doesn't know who is behind all this. Just that he's dealing with someone more powerful than him and that seems to give him an idea.



Of course Castiel instantly recognises his lost brother the moment Gabriel enters the room. And the not being too fond of the other? Clearly mutual. Sad, really, because it keeps them both from realising that they are not so different when it comes to their love for humanity. I'd love to see those two work together.
Castiel knows Dean and Sam are in trouble, dealing with the very powerful black sheep of the family who usually gets what he wants. But he can't do anything or warn them, Gabriel makes sure of that and zaps him away again to heaven probably doesn't know where.



This time Castiel only comes back when Sam and Dean trap Gabriel and the archangel lets him go, but only when Dean more or less forces him to. If Castiel didn't like his brother before now he likes him even less. And Gabriel mocking him about his search for God isn't helping. But those two wouldn't be able to get such a strong emotional response from each other if they didn't care, somewhere deep down. They are brothers after all. Brothers who are disappointed in each other, failing to see that they're not really on different sides here. They're just on different paths, trying to find different solutions to solve the same problem. And I think Gabriel does see it when Castiel looks at him for the last time. Castiel not so much. He won't forgive anyone who treats Dean like that, who screws people like that to get what he wants, who has abadoned his family so long ago when they needed him.

Part 6 / Masterpost / Part 8

Screencaps from Misha-Collins.Net

Comments

[stickers83.livejournal.com]

Again, thanks for posting- I could read about Cas/Dean forever!! :) I love how they go out of their way to save each other, although Cas seems a bit more concerned when Dean is in trouble.

[scyllaya.livejournal.com]

I want Castiel-Gabriel scenes in the show!

According to Ben Edlund... we might get the chance in S6 :D