gwaevalarin: (Isaac)
[personal profile] gwaevalarin
After watching the latest episode of Nikita, and after I stopped crying, I went right back to watch Ryan's very first episode.

How far he has come.

From the CIA agent who means well and has all the right idea, but is ultimately clueless when it comes to what the world really looks like. Who is scared and pretty much helpless when he is captured, but goes right back to trying to get to the bottom of things, and doing what is right - or what he believes is right which, when it comes to Ryan, is usually the same thing.

Three seasons later he is still, at his heart, the same guy. With more experience and a much better grasp of what is really going on out there. Maybe a little hardened but still idealistic and without ever losing sight of his goals: Finding the truth and doing the right thing.

He also has a family now. This strange, little family of people thrown together in their fight against first Division and later the Shop.

But just like when we met him for the very first time, he is still the guy who won't stop digging, who will connect the dots, and go on searching even if no one believes him. Even when his closest friends sigh and tell him to let it go.

But he won't. And once again he is right. And just like he was willing to sacrifice himself for the team and the truth at the end of last season, he was willing to do it again now.

"No more secrets!"

Ryan died for what he always believed him. He died for the truth. He died to destroy the bubble of lies Amanda built, so Nikita and the rest of the team get a chance at truly winning instead of being trapped in some fake happy ending.

Battered and broken, he held on, just long enough to tell Nikita the truth, to make sure she is able to continue the fight, and end it, before he let go.

Lately, I had to deal with so many character deaths that were utterly pointless. This wasn't one of them, and that makes it hurt so much more.

Because I can't be angry, when my favourite character died for what he believed in. When I watched Nikita rush to his side calling him her family. When I watched his entire team, his family, mourn him, each in their own way. Alex breaking down, Michael stoic but with tears in his eyes, Sonya shocked and confused and distracting herself by asking about Nikita, Birkhoff angry, and Nikita swearing not revenge but to finish the mission, because that's what Ryan died for. But not before leaving the medal with him as a parting gift. Not because she doesn't deserve it - she does - but because Ryan deserves it at least as much.

Ryan Fletcher left an impact on every single person in this little team of outcasts. It will be bittersweet, in the final episode, to see them finish this fight and reveal the truth that meant so much to him.

Goodbye, Ryan. You were a hero, and you will be missed.
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